Mr.Rogers Had it Right...

Anyone who has seen this man's show can recognize the fact that he was an excellent communicator. Whether he communicated with puppets or children, Mr.Rogers was constantly listening and communicating. He did not attempt to engage children with flurries of sights, sounds, and ideas, but rather with more relaxed methods. He calmly explains and teaches important things to children, and manages to communicate very successfully even though a television works only one way. If you don't agree with any of those things, it's undeniable that his show was, in the very least, unique.
Whenever you see his show, you get a grandfatherly vibe from Mr. Rogers that few people possess any more. Perhaps it's because we have lost sight of the value of listening, ourselves. As the intro to Chapter 5 suggests, this man was a master of communication, and mainly a master of listening What better way to demonstrate the power of listening than by using one of America's idols of sorts?







Why is listening essential? Obviously it's a big part of how we internalize information about our surroundings. Listening is a very vivid and important thing for me because of the fact that I can't do it very well. Sometimes it's tempting to just block out sounds and focus on my visual senses, because they are much more acute. It's simple to push the auditory responses to the back of my brain while I read the subtitles on a movie or watch people's lips as they speak. However, there comes a time when listening is the only option.

Anyone can listen to a song or listen to the rain on the roof, but few people think beyond the sounds. And in conversation, few people think beyond the words being spoken. In the middle of a conversation, it is not acceptable to simply listen to the words. It's essential that you truly listen to what is being said. Being able to listen and appreciate not only what someone says, but what they mean, is a very valuable skill to have.

We have all had times where we just need to talk to somebody. Whether that be our significant other, friends, or parents, we have shared something with another person. This communication is not fulfilling unless you know that they care about what you are telling them. Like this chapter illustrates, body language and visual cues let us know just how much a person is listening. When we know someone is listening, we feel more comfortable with the situation.

I figure that we should all try to return the favor. If it makes us feel good to be heard, why not listen to other people? I believe that if this happened, mis communications and emotional gaps could be avoided, because we would all be understanding each other better.

"Sometimes emotion-sharing leads to emotional contagion, when the experience of the same emotion rapidly spread from one person to others."

This particular line made me recall a memory from when I was twelve and visiting an amusement park in Ohio. We had been standing in line for at least an hour to ride the newest attraction. Hoards of seasonal bugs pestered us, and there was no relief from the sunlight as we stood in line like herded cows. It was in this event that I could visibly see how emotions were shared and spread between people. At the beginning of the line, the people who were the closest to the ride suddenly started talking to each other in a frenzy, when they had been ignoring each other previously. The people behind them started talking, then the people behind them, and then, before I knew it, the message had reached my section of the line.

"The ride has been shut down, we can either keep waiting until it opens again or leave."

It was amazing to me that even though seconds earlier we had just been bored and sweaty, we were now angry because of a common event. In some ways, it felt like we had all become one person, because we were all feeling the same emotion. This sense of unity, no matter what the cause, is amazing. The fact that we can communicate with each other and not only understand it, but mimic it as well, is crazy!

It makes me think about how my emotions affect other people, and has also made me realize that I should try to express my positive emotions more. Who knows how many people are being hurt by the negative ones?

Perceiving Others- Personally

The concept of ingroupers and outgroupers in Chapter 3 was particularly interesting to me.

Ingroupers, as the name suggests, is anyone who is in our group- anyone who is like us. We clump people into groups based on their likeliness to our own selves. It's fascinating that we react negatively the way we do to outgroupers. It suggests that we are not okay with anyone who is different from us.

This holds true in many situations. Whether we have religious, political, cultural, or emotional differences, we as humans automatically think our "group" is the best. Anyone who agrees with us is an ingrouper, and can therefore be trusted easier. Anyone who doesn't agree becomes an outgrouper. This classification alone builds a wall between two people. And unless you have a telephone or a very large hole in a wall, it's hard to communicate through one.

When we debate with people or argue with them, we are trying to bring them into our group in one more way. We even argue with people who are ingroupers! Even if someone is in your "group" and extremely similar to yourself, there is always something about them that you do not quite agree with 100%.

I think of ourselves and our relationships to other people in the form of a Venn Diagram. We are in the middle, with different groups of people with different traits and beliefs overlapping with us in some areas but shying away from us in others.



In arguing with our "overlapees", we are essentially trying to drag the outer edges of their ellipses closer to our own. In a very general sense, we are trying to make them more like ourselves.

This concept kind of confused me, though. Nobody I know wants to live in a world where everyone is the same or similar. Yet, we all think other people are wrong in some way, and constantly wish they were more like us. Maybe this is because we desire to have less conflict. Or maybe it's because our egos are simply too large. I don't really know, but it's some abstract food for some abstract thought.

Aah!

It's only the second week of a new semester and I'm already crushed under the amount of reading that I have been assigned. My textbooks all read like a medical journal. (I've never even read a medical journal, but I assume it is a devastating process...)

However, the book for this class is relaxing to read. Assuming I don't sit down and attempt to read the whole chapter at once, it's even moderately enjoyable. I think this is because the material applies directly to me, as opposed to reading chapters about anatomy and ancient literature.

It's nice to know that everything I'm reading I can apply and observe in my day to day life. It makes sense to me now that Communications is a required course for most degrees. Even if you're not a people-person, it's great to know how people work.

I started to find it ironic that even though this course is all about clear communication, we're all engaging in paradoxical form of it. The idea of having a class online seems to contradict every idea of student and teacher relationships I've ever heard of. We may be able to have discussions that mimic those we'd have in person, but to me it feels like we're using the wrong medium of communication regardless.