Ingroupers, as the name suggests, is anyone who is in our group- anyone who is like us. We clump people into groups based on their likeliness to our own selves. It's fascinating that we react negatively the way we do to outgroupers. It suggests that we are not okay with anyone who is different from us.
This holds true in many situations. Whether we have religious, political, cultural, or emotional differences, we as humans automatically think our "group" is the best. Anyone who agrees with us is an ingrouper, and can therefore be trusted easier. Anyone who doesn't agree becomes an outgrouper. This classification alone builds a wall between two people. And unless you have a telephone or a very large hole in a wall, it's hard to communicate through one.
When we debate with people or argue with them, we are trying to bring them into our group in one more way. We even argue with people who are ingroupers! Even if someone is in your "group" and extremely similar to yourself, there is always something about them that you do not quite agree with 100%.
I think of ourselves and our relationships to other people in the form of a Venn Diagram. We are in the middle, with different groups of people with different traits and beliefs overlapping with us in some areas but shying away from us in others.
In arguing with our "overlapees", we are essentially trying to drag the outer edges of their ellipses closer to our own. In a very general sense, we are trying to make them more like ourselves.
This concept kind of confused me, though. Nobody I know wants to live in a world where everyone is the same or similar. Yet, we all think other people are wrong in some way, and constantly wish they were more like us. Maybe this is because we desire to have less conflict. Or maybe it's because our egos are simply too large. I don't really know, but it's some abstract food for some abstract thought.
Emily, wow. You make an excellent point. It's very true that we all don't want people to just be exactly like us or agree with us 100% of the time. Yet, we tend to argue and get angry when they aren't always what we want or expect. I too was confused by that general concept. And I l-o-v-e the diagram. Great integration!
ReplyDeleteI also feel a little bad. Haha. Mine are always so tedious and long. I'm sure you guys are a bit annoyed at it, I know I'm getting there! You're so concise in saying exactly what you mean and doing so in a fun and easy to understand manner! Kudos ;}
ReplyDelete"We even argue with people who are ingroupers!" Nu uh.
ReplyDelete